RTT: The return

I've been absent from RTT for a while; so, I don't know if I will be able to think of anything?

My god-daughter was just released from the hospital, and I'm so incredibly happy that she is ok. She was admitted for mental stabilization (something I almost had to do this year), and she began a new medication formula, which should help. She's making better choices towards her health now, and I'm so proud of her for doing what she had to do to make it better. (She's 18. I would have been terrified.)

Hungry Hobo = El Fabuloso

I recently began foraging into a new spiritual place, and I'm psyched about it but a little scared, too. A new goddess has been pushing into my brain, and it sometimes takes up a lot of mental energy just to keep up. I've been researching all day, though, and I feel pretty connected in this place now. I still have to write my body ritual, but I think that will come later tonight. I'm looking to perform it on the next new moon (usually when my body image is at its lowest); so, I still have plenty of time.

I need to have my eyebrows waxed.

OMG! I bought argyle socks! I heart the argyle!

It is kind of funny when people from your past make themselves known in your current life. Sometimes, you expect them to be the same, and they are different. But sometimes, you expect them to be different, and they are exactly the same.

For more random fun, go visit Keely. (*points to blogroll*)

Grumpy Face

I took this picture at the Favorite Things Crop this year. I was smiling up until the second the camera clicked because it was taking so long!

HAES: Body Image

So, you will recall how I talked about the book I'm reading now and how I am gleaning things from it that I didn't get the first time. Here's the other doozy that knocked me on my ass this time:

Your body image is directly related to your mental state.

I know, right? It is such a "duh?" statement that I cannot even tell you how stupid I felt when it clicked for me. So, when I'm having a down cycle and I don't want to get out of bed, I'm going to feel fat and ugly? Bingo. When I'm having an up cycle and I feel like I can conquer the world, then I'm going to feel all possibility-full? Check, sister. (For more on possibilities, go visit my frog who was just talking about this. You can find her from my blog roll.)

I mean, DUH?!? Everything else about me and my life is cyclical - directly relating to my state of mind and / or state of well-being at the time. So it follows nicely that my body image would be in the same fashion. Why didn't I see that before? The more I learn about my disorder, the more I see it popping its little green head up all over my life.

But at least I've clicked it now. I can tell myself, when in those down moments of "ohmygodi'mamonster" that the feeling will pass, and I'm not a monster. When I don't want my husband to see me because I feel all grody, I can tell myself that this, too, shall pass. (It will probably pass pretty quickly, too, at the rate I cycle...)

So, if you're feeling down on yourself, ask yourself how things are in your life. Are you depressed? Are you anxious? Are you stressed out? If the answer is yes, you've probably just found the reason for why you feel all blobby.

HAES: Intuitive Eating

So, as you can see from my bookshelf, I am re-reading "Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere." This book really rocked my thinking the first time; and really, the second time around is no different. I've gotten a few different things out of the book this time around, and one of those things is intuitive eating, which I'm trying.

{HAES = Health At Every Size, by the way}

Intuitive Eating is the main concept in HAES, and it goes a little bit like this: Eat what you want when you want it. Actually, it goes a whole lot like that since that's all it is. In intuitive eating, no foods are off limits. The point is to listen to your body when it tells you a) when it is hungry and b) what it is hungry for. In this line of thought, there are no good foods or bad foods; food is just food.

So, I've been trying out this intuitive eating concept for about a week now, and here is what I've learned:

1. I don't actually crave greasy food; I end up eating greasy food when I'm too uncreative to come up with anything else. (read: lazy)
2. When I do crave something "bad" and I let myself have it, I will only eat two or three bites of it before the craving is satisfied.
3. I'm eating a lot less because I'm listening to my body more when it tells me it is full or sated for right now.

The jury is still out on Dr. Pepper, though. I can't tell if I'm craving Dr. Pepper or if I'm just really accustomed to drinking it. I'll let you know how it goes...