Definition

"What does define you as a person? I have label issues, too - "I'm bipolar," rather than "I have bipolar disorder." So help me... What do criteria do you use to define yourself and what is the definition of Melissa?"

I'm a word person.  When confronted with questions like these, I usually turn to the "definition" of the words in the question so I can clearly answer what is being asked.  The definition of definition is this:  the act of defining or making definite, distinct, or clear.  The very definition of the word makes this question hard to answer because I am learning that I have no definite definition. 

Isn't that just a wow moment?  Like OMG, right?

I have no clear, defining definition of who I am because I am constantly changing, constantly rearranging, constantly growing, and constantly getting better.  I wish, so very much (really, you don't know how much), that I could say "this is who and what I am," but I am learning that those are labels, and I'm trying to get away from labels.

Right now, in this moment, my criteria for self-definition are as follows:

• Am I a good person?  Yes.
• Can I follow directions?  Yes.
• Can I make change for the better? Yes.

That's all for right now because everything else is, and probably always will be, in flux.  It all comes back to allowing yourself to exist beyond your boundaries.  Here's another list that might help:

• I am married to Ted, but that does not define me as a person.
• Right now, in my heart, I belong to frog, but that does not define me as a person.
• Right now, in my heart, fiona belongs to me, but that does not define me as a person.
• I work for XXXXX, but that does not define me as a person.
• I take umpteenthirty pills every day, but that does not define me as a person.

I don't think it is about the criteria that define you as a person...I think it is about letting go of the criteria you used to give control to in defining you as a person...