Circe

Alone but not lonely, Circe is the epitome of autonomous woman. Harness her energy to empower your own destiny, but beware of the temptation to use the energy to harm others.

 

AFFIRMATIONS

I can make choices

I am my own best friend

It is my right to choose my path

My awesome power is released

I am full of energy and passion

Look out world, here I come!

I am free to choose my own destiny

My power is unleashed for the greatest good of all

 

Her Story

 

Circe or (Kirke, pronounced Kir-kee) is the daughter of Helios (The Sun) and Perseis (the daughter of Okeanos). Goddess of the moon and the night, Circe began life as a 'mage for hire' in order to fund her expensive pursuit of magic.

 

She was immortalised in literature (Homer's Odyssey) as a femme fatale, enticing Odysseus to her island whereupon she transformed his sailors to the animal closest to their true nature - pigs.

 

Because of Circe's mannerism of encircling her "victims" before enchanting them, she was named after the death-bird "kirkos" (a circling of falcons). However, she was neither good nor evil. Circe was simply fixed in her endeavours to further her own goals.

 

Her Modern Energy

 

For modern women, this means Circe challenges you to take responsibility for your own actions and life. Stop floating along with the mindset that "life just happens" and draw on Circe's energy to use your own power to create your own destiny.

 

Living alone on her island, the archetype of Circe is that of autonomous woman, self-empowered and whole unto herself. She does not need a man to complete her, although some stories tell of jealous tantrums where she unleashed her magic to metamorphose men and women who had crossed her.

 

Alone but not lonely, Circe's bouts of jealousy represents love in its irrational passion and remarkable power. This energy can be harnessed to enable your own transformation too. Let Circe's energy carry you forward, up and out of the life that is making you feel powerless.

The Truth

I've been reading this zen website that talks a lot about simplifying your life.  One of the articles I read today dealt with the notion of marginalizing, shall we say...thinking in smaller terms.  But somehow I also took away the notion of the need for truthfulness from the same article.  Being truthful is important, and I think it is time I am truthful with myself.  So, here is my truth:

 

I am thirty years old, and I weigh 233.8 pounds as of this morning.  I am five feet and two inches tall.  I have been heavy all of my life, and I simply began believing that I was going to be heavy all of my life.  I am a walking Venus of Willendorf, ask anyone I know, and they will tell you that I remind them of her.

 

Here's another truth:  I have a poor body image.  I know where it comes from, and I know what caused it; so, I will spare you that and simply leave it at that.  I have it, and it contributes to the daily choices I make.  I sabotage myself so that I stay in the discomfort zone because being in a comfortable place makes me nervous.

 

But here's another truth:  Recently, I've taken back my life.  I decided that I didn't like a lot of things in my life, and there needed to be change.  Change has been a'happenin.  Some have taken to it, and some have not.  But it is there. So, change is happening INSIDE of me and all around me.

 

And here's the big truth:  I don't want this weight anymore.  In the last year, I have gained roughly 30 pounds.  I don't want it anymore.  I don't want the stress on my joints.  I don't want the excess weight on my body.  I just plain don't want it

 

But more than I want to be less dense, less rotund, I want to be healthy.  I want to be able to stick to my eating clean regimen without it being a fight every day.  I want to exercise so that my body feels better.  So, new rules effective now until June 1:

 

1.  Exercise five minutes every day.  It makes me seem like a wimp, but I am out of shape, srsly.

2.  Be prepared:  plan ahead for the day's meals and have the right food on hand.

3.  Be prepared:  plan ahead to say no.

4.  Take it meal by meal and step by step.

5.  Reward yourself on June 2.

L'Anxietie

Last night something happened to me that hasn't happened in a very long time:  I had a full-on panic attack.  Tears and everything.  Over something so very simply I couldn't tell you why it happened.  Today, I'm in recovery mode, I think, pulling into myself to try to figure out why it happened and petting myself to reassure me that it is all ok.

It is all ok.  Everything is going to be fine.  When you can do this, you'll do it.  Not before, and not forced.  Don't worry.

Don't worry.

Needy B*tch

I'm a needy bitch.  I know it.  My husband knows it.  Frog knows it.  Everybody I know knows it, I think.  I can't help it; it is part of my nature.  I want to know that I did a good job.  I want to know that my slave heart pleased someone.  It is such a sweet sentiment, isn't it?

 

But CALL me a needy bitch? And I might have to change my panties. >.<

 

Frog calls it "high maintenance"....I don't care what you call it...just say it every now and then.  :)

 

You needy bitch, you.