Blargh

I'm sure there's more I wanted to talk about, but I can't remember all of it right now. So, we're going to start w/ the important stuff. I went to the MD yesterday for my annual exam (which, if you're a chick, you know that this consists of more than taking your height, weight, vitals, and history for the last year). I am 5'2.5" tall, and I certainly weigh more than I should. My blood pressure is good, and my lungs were clear. Eyes, ears, and throat all good. Breast exam was good; no lumps. Pelvic was good; no lumps in the abdomen. I'm waiting on the results from my Pap, but I don't anticipate any problems because she said everything looked fine when she was down there. Here's the thing, though: I have to go back for a fasting blood draw. My doctor wants to check my RA factor and my thyroid. Apparently, my thyroid level has doubled within a year. She checked it at my last annual; and then, she checked it again approximately halfway through the year, and it had doubled. According to my MD, this isn't normal. She said I was less than one point away from being put on thyroid medication. If my level goes up with this check, I *WILL* be put on thyroid medication. Apparently, my body thinks there's not enough of the stuff the thyroid produces; so, my thyroid is making too much of it...or something like that. My doctor said this could be a large contributing factor as to why I feel so damn tired all the time. She is also checking my RA factor because she said that the fact that ALL of my joints ache is of concern. Coincidentally, I hurt like a sumbitch right now; so, yes, I'm concerned, too. The thing is...I'm not sure if I want to get my hopes up that something might actually be wrong with me. For the last year...maybe two?...I've pretty much convinced myself that I'm just tired and lazy, but what if there is an actual, legitimate reason for that tired, aching feeling? (Two separate reasons, but still.) Would that motivate me to get better, feel better, take better care of myself? Or, if I started treatment, would I finally feel like doing the things I want to do? I had, kind of, chalked it all up to being a lazy bastard, but what if that isn't all of it? Anyways, the doctor and I also discussed methods of permanent birth control because I've been on the pill since I was 17, and I'm ten-different-ways of over it. Hub and I aren't having children, and I'd rather just find a permanent solution. So, my homework is to find out what my insurance will cover in regards to sterilization. I'm also supposed to find out if a certain gynecologist is in my network. After that? Maybe an appointment will be made for a consultation. Who knows.

...later...

So, ok. I'm doing my best to NOT think about what the doctor told me, but I have done a little reading. I have completely managed to freak myself out. It turns out that RA is on the rise in women, but nobody knows why. Turns out hips and knees are commonly affected, along w/ hands, which is where my pain is always located. Turns out RA is a big contributor to hypothyroidism because the auto-immune disorder inflames the thyroid making it malfunction, which means it makes perfect sense for a person to be diagnosed w/ both. I'm trying to also give benefit of the doubt to other stuff: possible cold, weather changes, etc. However, I've felt this way for a long time. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've begged off doing something with Hub because I've been too tired. Nor can I even begin to count the number of days I've just not "felt well" because I was hurting, achine, or fatigued. So, some of this stuff seems to fit - I'm just going to feel like a complete dork if none of it is true.