Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Spin Cycle: Lindey Lohan Can Kiss My A$$

Quickly, before I begin with the Spin Cycle:
  1. Spin Cycle comes to you from Sprite's Keeper.
  2. I have just discovered Rhapsody (thanks frog!), and I love it! You only have to buy the songs you want!
  3. I found "Anti Monkey Butt" Powder in the store today. As soon as I download that picture from my phone, I will produce proof.

Ok, so this week's, and my first, spin cycle is about celebs. I have to admit that I don't follow celebs much because I think that a lot of them have made their money on obvious ass-hattery, which bugs me. Perez Hilton, you can kiss a toad.

However, in preparation for this very spin cycle, I have been watching the mags this week in hopes that fodder from heaven would plop down on me for some good bloggy. Lo and behold, I was not led astray.

"I am so alone," she says. Lindsey Lohan? YOU CAN KISS MY ASS! Alone? WTF? Did you not spend years now in a drunken stupor? Did you not take photos of yourself holding a KNIFE to your supposed pal? Did you not leave the guy-team for the almost-guy-team when you shacked up with a wedontknowwhat? If you're alone, fat-head, it is because you're an idiot.

I don't understand how these people can make so much money, have the ability to HIRE OTHER PEOPLE who are smart and savvy, and yet continue to make total jack-asses out of themselves. And why, why, WHY do we glorify actors? Really? They just stand there and make faces. You and I can "learn the lines," too, because we did it in elementary school. Why, also, do we glorify the likes of Paris Hilton? SHE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB, PEOPLE. Making faces at the paparazzi is not a job. Next thing you know, Paris will be quibbling over how much she's alone with her menagerie of animals the only company she has.

Ok, there ARE some celebs I can manage to stomach. Keanu Reeves, for example, is a favorite of mine because the man cannot emote, which is perfect for me because I don't need him to emote...just stand there and be pretty. I've also had some super-sexy-sex-dreams about the lives of Hugh Jackman (only in Wolverine, if you please), Paul Walker, Sean William Scott (its the sorta-beard), and Vin Diesel...though Vin is losing me to his huge ear-ness. I much prefer to imagine the stuff in my head than watch it on a screen. I come up with much sexier photos.

To sum it up, I guess you could say the fish is anti-celebrity. Mostly, I just want to tell them all to get a real job before complaining. :)


  1. I think I fell in love a little.
    I love this rant! I also agree with it. Lindsay and her woe is me attitude has me moving on to something more interesting just a little quicker. Great Spin!
    You're linked!

  2. With today's media it's hard to avoid the celebrity crap. Watch were you step, they just keep dropping and don't pick up.

    Some (now rich) people discovered years ago that there is money in pushing celebrity crap.

    thanks for a good post

  3. Paris Hilton IS unemployed---exactly right. I get so annoyed with it all, too. Thanks for the spin!