In no particular order...
This is the real, behind-the-scenes drama, yes drama, that goes on in the daily life of a woman pushing every border and redifining every label.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Stolen Cuteness
I thought this was cute; so, I stole it from frog. :)
1. Who eats more?
Considering I am the overweight partner in the relationship, I would have to say that I eat more. :(
2. Who said “I love you” first?
Hub did. I don't believe in saying "I love you" until I'm sure I mean it. When he would tell me he loved me early on, I would respond with, "Thank you."
3. Who is the morning person?
Hub is the morning person much to my despair.
4. Who sings better?
He does. Used to be in a band, you know.
5. Who’s older?
He is - by a decade. *snicker* I have great fun by saying things like..."In 1985, I was only five! You were practically having sex! Cradle robber!"
6. Who’s smarter?
He is. Math in the head smart.
7. Who’s temper is worse?
My temper is far worse. If something ever happens to Hub, I'm sure that I'm going to go to jail just because everyone knows how mean I am - even if I didn't do it.
8. Who does the laundry?
He does. It is difficult for me to go down the steps leading to the basement.
9. Who does the dishes?
He does - Unless I miraculously start having a good day.
10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
It depends on how you're looking at the bed. I sleep closest to the door because I'm more apt to stab someone coming through it.
11. Who’s feet are bigger?
Hub's. I'm dainty.
12. Who’s hair is longer?
Hub's.
13. Who’s better with the computer?
I am; although, I have a temper with them.
14. Do you have pets?
Indeed - three cats, one dog, and one goldfish.
15. Who pays the bills?
I pay the rent; he pays the other bills.
16. Who cooks dinner?
We share this responsibility. It depends upon what is on the menu that night.
17. Who drives when you are together?
He does. The man cannot be a passenger without pissing me off. I'm totally a passenger-seat driver, though.
18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
We don't go out to dinner a lot. He buys me Frostys, though.
19. Who’s the most stubborn?
I am. I don't think anybody can out-stubborn me.
20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
I am. I say I'm sorry a lot, which makes me feel like a jack-ass because that means I'm mean a lot.
21. Who’s family do you see more?
His.
22. Who named your pet?
Hub named our oldest cat, Vincent, and our goldfish, Bruce. I named the rest.
23. Who kissed who first?
It was mutual.
24. Who asked who out?
We didn't have an "ask me out" relationship.
Why is it that in every survey, there's a damn number missing?
26. Who’s more sensitive?
I would say I am. I take more stuff personally.
27. Who’s taller?
Everybody is taller than me.
28. Who has more friends?
I do.
29. Who has more siblings?
I do.
1. Who eats more?
Considering I am the overweight partner in the relationship, I would have to say that I eat more. :(
2. Who said “I love you” first?
Hub did. I don't believe in saying "I love you" until I'm sure I mean it. When he would tell me he loved me early on, I would respond with, "Thank you."
3. Who is the morning person?
Hub is the morning person much to my despair.
4. Who sings better?
He does. Used to be in a band, you know.
5. Who’s older?
He is - by a decade. *snicker* I have great fun by saying things like..."In 1985, I was only five! You were practically having sex! Cradle robber!"
6. Who’s smarter?
He is. Math in the head smart.
7. Who’s temper is worse?
My temper is far worse. If something ever happens to Hub, I'm sure that I'm going to go to jail just because everyone knows how mean I am - even if I didn't do it.
8. Who does the laundry?
He does. It is difficult for me to go down the steps leading to the basement.
9. Who does the dishes?
He does - Unless I miraculously start having a good day.
10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
It depends on how you're looking at the bed. I sleep closest to the door because I'm more apt to stab someone coming through it.
11. Who’s feet are bigger?
Hub's. I'm dainty.
12. Who’s hair is longer?
Hub's.
13. Who’s better with the computer?
I am; although, I have a temper with them.
14. Do you have pets?
Indeed - three cats, one dog, and one goldfish.
15. Who pays the bills?
I pay the rent; he pays the other bills.
16. Who cooks dinner?
We share this responsibility. It depends upon what is on the menu that night.
17. Who drives when you are together?
He does. The man cannot be a passenger without pissing me off. I'm totally a passenger-seat driver, though.
18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
We don't go out to dinner a lot. He buys me Frostys, though.
19. Who’s the most stubborn?
I am. I don't think anybody can out-stubborn me.
20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
I am. I say I'm sorry a lot, which makes me feel like a jack-ass because that means I'm mean a lot.
21. Who’s family do you see more?
His.
22. Who named your pet?
Hub named our oldest cat, Vincent, and our goldfish, Bruce. I named the rest.
23. Who kissed who first?
It was mutual.
24. Who asked who out?
We didn't have an "ask me out" relationship.
Why is it that in every survey, there's a damn number missing?
26. Who’s more sensitive?
I would say I am. I take more stuff personally.
27. Who’s taller?
Everybody is taller than me.
28. Who has more friends?
I do.
29. Who has more siblings?
I do.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Moo.
Things I have learned recently:
- Sometimes, you have to talk to someone "crazy" for everything to make sense.
- If a cow pops up in your life on a regular basis, take note of the cow. Follow the cow. Listen to the cow.
- There is always a reason for everything. However, the gods don't always think you need to know what the reason is until, say, 20 years later when it suddenly makes sense.
- Taking calcium pills with Diet Pepsi will cause said calcium pill to explode in your mouth.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Catching Up and Valentine's Day
First, this is Thursday's photo. I recently went back to therapy, and my therapist deals a lot with people who have chronic pain issues. We're working on coping skills, which is really what I wanted to get out of the appointments. This is the first technique we are trying. It is called a "soothing kit." You pick a bag that you really like, and you fill it with things that will draw you out of anxiety and panic. Inside mine, I have a mala, a cd, and my camera. :)
This is my Valentine's day shot. *LOL* Hub woke me up this morning with presents, which was totally cool, but I had the ROUGHEST night last night. I had a migraine that almost landed me in the ER - again. So, you can totally tell that I'm not with it. Do you see my one eye open and one eye closed? *LOL* I've totally decimated half of those cupcakes already, by the way.
My flowers and Hub's bear on the mantle. :)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
2/2/09 layouts
I did two layouts tonight. :) The first is called "peek-a-boo," and it has two pop-open jobbies on either side. The photo in the right corner is one of my favorite photos from my Project 365 (so far).
CXR
Letting Go / Perfectionism
It has been a strange time for me lately. Everything that is coming into my life has been geared towards, or revolving around, letting go of control. I am a perfectionist; I know this to be true, and I know that my perfectionism stems from my fears and anxiety. A little bit of perfectionism is ok; letting it run rampant through your life is not ok. So, once I recognized this little bit of wisdom, the Higher Powers kick in and say, "Wow! You're finally ready for this lesson! Just to be sure, though, we're going to hit you over the head with it until we're absolutely certain you've got it!"
Yes, thank you. I have it now.
Letting go of control isn't something that comes easily to me, but it is something I'm doing in my life a LOT recently. I've let go of trying to figure out how to do what is expected of me instead of what is best for me. I've let go of trying to make sure everyone has a high opinion of me. I've let go of trying to figure out how to fix it, make it better when all I can really do is BE. I've even let go of trying to talk my way around it because, just like they say, silence is golden. In the aftermath of all of this letting go, I've stumbled into a pretty calm place. Somehow, I have managed to grow a little bit more into myself and mature a little bit further. There is a difference between growing older and growing more mature. In the span of a little more than a week, I have learned a LOT.
I have learned that I don't have to please my family members anymore. This was a hard one for me because I kept hoping, praying, and wishing that I would, one day, have the kind of family that was supportive, nurturing, and caring. Letting go of that wish, I realized that I don't need them to like me, I don't need them to have a high opinion of me, and I don't need them to accept me. I have learned to make peace with who I am without them. I will never have that kind of family; it is up to me to create the things I long for in my own life.
I have learned that I don't have to fix every situation. I don't have to make it better or find a solution. Sometimes, the only thing I'm meant to do is be there, listen, and / or be available. It isn't my burden to fix the world's problems. It isn't even my burden to fix all of the problems my loved ones have. This was difficult for me to learn because I'm a problem-solver; I'm a fix-er by nature. The HP figured out how to break me loose of this, though, by confronting me with a situation I couldn't fix. In helplessness, I found empowerment because I could SEE that I wasn't meant to fix it. I wasn't being asked to fix it. I was only being asked for love and support, and I have that by the truckload.
I have learned to keep my mouth shut. In the not-too-distant past, I had the problem of telling everybody everything. I really had a hard time keeping things to myself because I didn't know the difference between privacy and secrets. This has really turned around for me, though, because I keep a lot to myself now - especially at work. When I found out that my boss told my co-workers about my uncle's death, I was extremely upset because I didn't feel they needed to know the details, and I was surprised by that because I'd have blabbed it all over creation before. Now, though, I realize the value of confiding in someone because you choose to do so rather than because you can't keep your lips together. I realize the value of trust, mutual respect, and friendship. It takes time to build friendships in which you can trust someone enough to tell them the details of your life.
I have learned that even when I let go, I will be caught, cushioned, and / or supported. I think that for the first time in my life, I really SEE the value of my loved ones. I see how much they support me, and I am amazed. I am humbled by the amount of love that crosses into and out of my life every day. I have learned that I don't have to do everything alone because there is always someone available and willing to do it with me. I have learned that I can ask for help because there is always someone ready to help me. This is probably the most simple thing, but it astounds me when I think about it.
And now that I think about it, I DO have the family I always wished for - I just built them, member by member, instead of being born into the mix.
My cup runneth over.
Yes, thank you. I have it now.
Letting go of control isn't something that comes easily to me, but it is something I'm doing in my life a LOT recently. I've let go of trying to figure out how to do what is expected of me instead of what is best for me. I've let go of trying to make sure everyone has a high opinion of me. I've let go of trying to figure out how to fix it, make it better when all I can really do is BE. I've even let go of trying to talk my way around it because, just like they say, silence is golden. In the aftermath of all of this letting go, I've stumbled into a pretty calm place. Somehow, I have managed to grow a little bit more into myself and mature a little bit further. There is a difference between growing older and growing more mature. In the span of a little more than a week, I have learned a LOT.
I have learned that I don't have to please my family members anymore. This was a hard one for me because I kept hoping, praying, and wishing that I would, one day, have the kind of family that was supportive, nurturing, and caring. Letting go of that wish, I realized that I don't need them to like me, I don't need them to have a high opinion of me, and I don't need them to accept me. I have learned to make peace with who I am without them. I will never have that kind of family; it is up to me to create the things I long for in my own life.
I have learned that I don't have to fix every situation. I don't have to make it better or find a solution. Sometimes, the only thing I'm meant to do is be there, listen, and / or be available. It isn't my burden to fix the world's problems. It isn't even my burden to fix all of the problems my loved ones have. This was difficult for me to learn because I'm a problem-solver; I'm a fix-er by nature. The HP figured out how to break me loose of this, though, by confronting me with a situation I couldn't fix. In helplessness, I found empowerment because I could SEE that I wasn't meant to fix it. I wasn't being asked to fix it. I was only being asked for love and support, and I have that by the truckload.
I have learned to keep my mouth shut. In the not-too-distant past, I had the problem of telling everybody everything. I really had a hard time keeping things to myself because I didn't know the difference between privacy and secrets. This has really turned around for me, though, because I keep a lot to myself now - especially at work. When I found out that my boss told my co-workers about my uncle's death, I was extremely upset because I didn't feel they needed to know the details, and I was surprised by that because I'd have blabbed it all over creation before. Now, though, I realize the value of confiding in someone because you choose to do so rather than because you can't keep your lips together. I realize the value of trust, mutual respect, and friendship. It takes time to build friendships in which you can trust someone enough to tell them the details of your life.
I have learned that even when I let go, I will be caught, cushioned, and / or supported. I think that for the first time in my life, I really SEE the value of my loved ones. I see how much they support me, and I am amazed. I am humbled by the amount of love that crosses into and out of my life every day. I have learned that I don't have to do everything alone because there is always someone available and willing to do it with me. I have learned that I can ask for help because there is always someone ready to help me. This is probably the most simple thing, but it astounds me when I think about it.
And now that I think about it, I DO have the family I always wished for - I just built them, member by member, instead of being born into the mix.
My cup runneth over.
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