So, you will recall how I talked about the book I'm reading now and how I am gleaning things from it that I didn't get the first time. Here's the other doozy that knocked me on my ass this time:
Your body image is directly related to your mental state.
I know, right? It is such a "duh?" statement that I cannot even tell you how stupid I felt when it clicked for me. So, when I'm having a down cycle and I don't want to get out of bed, I'm going to feel fat and ugly? Bingo. When I'm having an up cycle and I feel like I can conquer the world, then I'm going to feel all possibility-full? Check, sister. (For more on possibilities, go visit my frog who was just talking about this. You can find her from my blog roll.)
I mean, DUH?!? Everything else about me and my life is cyclical - directly relating to my state of mind and / or state of well-being at the time. So it follows nicely that my body image would be in the same fashion. Why didn't I see that before? The more I learn about my disorder, the more I see it popping its little green head up all over my life.
But at least I've clicked it now. I can tell myself, when in those down moments of "ohmygodi'mamonster" that the feeling will pass, and I'm not a monster. When I don't want my husband to see me because I feel all grody, I can tell myself that this, too, shall pass. (It will probably pass pretty quickly, too, at the rate I cycle...)
So, if you're feeling down on yourself, ask yourself how things are in your life. Are you depressed? Are you anxious? Are you stressed out? If the answer is yes, you've probably just found the reason for why you feel all blobby.